the first dance. . .

Planning for our wedding was fun. . . delightful . . . and incredibly painful. . .

You know how you want this to be the perfect day. . . Not in the Bridezilla sort of way. . . But in the I really want to celebrate with the world how much I love you. . . . I want the bells to ring in the highest tower so the whole world can feel our love. . .

But somehow, the parents. . . the cost. . . the jitters of everyone around you. . . try to steal that joy away. . .

I was determined, however, that no matter what happened, that this would be the happiest day of my life so far. No matter what happened. Because it was our first day together as our little family. Just us.

Loved that sound of that.

But, I did lots of daydreaming in the months and weeks and days leading up to September 18. . . Not about my dress. . .

or the flowers.. . .

or the look in Sam's eyes as I walked down the aisle. . .

or the vows. . .

I dreamed about our first dance. To our song. Just us. The whole world disappearing. I could hear the music in my head. I could feel his arms holding me tight.

And still, when we dance, I always remember that first dance at our wedding. That moment when time stood still, and we were the only ones in the the whole world. . .

And last night, after our crazy stretching and dancing and doctor cures. . . Sam put on a quiet song. . . just for us. . . so that we could dance close. . . [which, amid little boy chaos, we haven't done in such a long time]

And we danced. . . And I could feel the remembering. . . .

And then a little boy hand woke me up. . . And in all the years and months that I spent dreaming before our wedding. . . I never dreamed of the day when we would dance with our sweet little sons. . .

And the littlest one bounded in and out: Hey you guys! I love you too!

More beautiful than I could have ever imagined. . .