Saturday, January 30, 2010

the little face

that hung out with me this afternoon. . .amid piles of folded shirts and socks with missing mates. . . looked at me and broke out in the biggest, sweetest gummy grin. . . his first (aside from those crooked smiles while snoozing, which really don't count). . . Not just once, but several times. . . While I cooed and squealed. . . With no one to share it with but the stacks of onsies and socks. . .
And my Mama heart melted. . .

headlamps and candlelight

Last night Sam worked on a light switch upstairs. . . Leaving the Zelis in darkness downstairs. . . so we improvised and brought out the headlamps that Santa brought (Jack's several years ago. . .Luke this year). . .That Santa, he's such a smart guy. . .
There was buggy driving (while sign watching. . .did you know driving a buggy is just like driving a car?). . .
And Lego building. . .

And magazine reading by candlelight. . . And we realized (and by we, we mean Mama). . . that hanging out pioneer-style (if the pioneers had headlamps), is pretty cool.

Friday, January 29, 2010

love my bruver. . .

He loves both of his brothers so very much. . .
And I love this for so many reasons. . .
Because he takes pride in being able to spell the names of his family. . .and often writes his name and Jack's name together [for-e-ver]. . .
Because he specifically made sure to get the details just right. . . checking Jack's eye color to color them brown, just as they are. . .
Because he loves his one brown eye, one green eye. . . and so do I. . .

Thursday, January 28, 2010

nothing better. . .

than a visit with a good friend. . . complete with sweet treats [Missy, Sam says he loves when you visit because I always "make something good and fattening"] and baby snuggles. . .
than handmade knits, and a baby who loves to wear them. . .
Thanks so much, Missy. . . Ethan loves his new sweater. . .not only does he look adorable, but it must taste really good too. [And, I have to add, it matches his baby blues perfectly.]

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

he dreams. . .

of making his own space ship. . . from parts from the junkyard. . .

to fly to Mars. . . or beyond. . . and discover new life [probably a bad guy or two]. . .
new lands. . .
new adventures. . .

Saturday, January 23, 2010

ligonier ice fest

A beautiful, sunny day spent in Ligonier. . . Ethan's first Ice Fest. . .

First stop: Spaghetti Dinner at the Town Hall. . . the warmer weather brought out lots of people. . .so we waited in line a bit. . .but it was so worth it. Love the Spaghetti fundraiser. . .Sam and I look forward to it every year.

While we waited, Darth Vadar rode around on a mini (go cart-like) tie fighter. . .
And all the Cars parked. . .and drove. . .and parked some more. . .
Then we were off to stroll around the Diamond. . .
watching the skills of the ice carvers (how you can use a chainsaw to make such delicate cuts. . .amazing) and enjoying the carvings already on display.

Another treasured Zeli tradition. So exciting to have our whole not-so-little family together.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

he sleeps. . .

Monday night: one blissful 5 hours stretch between feedings in the night

Tuesday: one 4 hour stretch

last night: another 4 hour stretch. . . resulting in one feeding at 8:00, an ounce at 10:00, and then sweet dreams until 2 am. . . [ahhhh]. . . and up again at 5:30 [when we cuddled together in Mama's bed while Dada got ready for work. . .and dozed until it was time to get Jack up at 7:15. . .
Somehow the world makes more sense (and so does my speech), when I get more than 5 hours sleep. . .

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

the adventures of young indy. . .

Jack as Indiana Jones, October 31 2008
Following in the steps of his big brother, Luke has taken a fascination with Indiana Jones. . . running around the house behind Jaxon. . . drawing treasure maps (complete with a big red X). . . and fighting off the bad guys. . .

Monday, January 18, 2010

the nurturing one. . .

The boys are home from school today. . .Martin Luther King day. . .which means a little extra sleep [for the weary ones who work through the night these days]. . .

About 8:30 this morning, I heard a stirring. . . And watched as sweet little Luke wandered the hallway. . .on tiptoe. . .with frankie trailing under his feet. . . He walked into Jack's room, picking up Jack's blankie from the floor, and carefully laid beside his sleeping brother. . . so sweet. . . Before venturing into the bathroom . . . then back out to find Ethan. . . And when he didn't find him in the nursery, he came tiptoeing into our room . . .

He crawled up onto our big bed to give baby Eat-thin a gentle kiss on his sleeping cheek. I turned Dora on our tv so we could just cuddle, waking slowly. . . Before Ethan woke around 9, and we started our day together.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

melting. . .

a melody of drips. . .
as the january sun warms our snowy little world. . . I venture out. . .

hearing summer's windchimes now slowed -- singing a colder song. . . the world is almost quiet. . .
but for the melody of drips. . . as our icicles outside the bedroom window, once strong and thick like the limbs of our apple tree, now slim, fragile fingers. . .
the sun, now winter's maestro. . . conducting her song: a tune stormy. . .strong. . .forte. . . now pianissimo. . . gentle. . . whispering of spring. . .

Friday, January 15, 2010

Pancake Fridays. . .

One of the best days of the week in the Zeli house. . . when Dada is home for a 9/80 Friday. . .
and he makes Chocolate Chip Pancakes for the Zeli boys for breakfast
(a treat meant to be enjoyed all day long. . .until that huge plate of chocolately goodness is nothing but crumbs and sweet, yummy memories. . .). . .

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Four weeks. . .

ago. . . at this time (11ish am). . . I was sitting in Labor and Delivery with my mom. . . waiting patiently for Dr. Nolfi to come along and break my water. We just chatted about everything and nothing at all. Very nice. . . relaxing. . . something I missed when I delivered Jack and Luke. . . Sam was out having a quick lunch with the boys and Nan and PapPap.

Dr. Nolfi arrived around noonish. . . and I had progressed to a 4.5 to 5 cm ("Is that all?" I said. . .because I came to the hospital at about 3.5 and had been on pitossin since 8 am.). I knew it would be all over once he broke my water. . .and it was. . .I requested my epidural right away. . .but waited 40 agonizing minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive. . . Sam arrived shortly after Dr. Nolfi finished breaking my water. . . and we breathed. . . and breathed. . .and breathed. . . Somewhere in there I cried (thinking I could never make it. . .) and the nurse came with something for my IV. . . something that made me feel a little tipsy. . .and don't you know my epidural came 5 minutes later. . .

After my epidural I lay on one side for 20 minutes. . . still breathing. . . 20 minutes on the other side. . . And suddenly I had progressed from 5 to 10 in a little over an hour. . . and it was time to push. After pushing through 2 sets of contractions they found the cord wrapped around his neck. . . Very scary. . . He quickly snipped the cord from around his neck (no cries from a little blue baby) and I pushed him out in two more sets.

It's all a blur from here. I saw him very quickly before he was wisked away. . . and he cried about 5 minutes later. . . He had such blue little hands and feet. . . But he was fine.

And I can hardly believe it's been 4 weeks already.

I remember crying the night we brought him home and put him to bed. Afraid I would wake in the night and find him gone. . . But he has reminded me each and every night since (several times each night). . . that he's here. . . and he's not going anywhere. . .

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I stumbled across this today during my blog readings (which happen to coincide with Master Ethan's 1-hour feedings. . .). It brought me back to last year, around the time of my miscarriage. . . this same little article appeared in Sam's church newsletter. . . I found it's wisdom comforting, and read it daily for a very long time. . .

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio: To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends, parents or spouse will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Our Favorite Christmas Gift. . .

arrived early. . . At 2:22 pm, on December 16th. . .

weighing 7 lbs, 5 oz. . .20 inches. . .

It seemed like forever before he got here. . . And I can hardly believe that Luke and I took him to see Dr. Talamo today for his 3 week check-up. . .and that he will be 4 weeks on Wednesday. Already growing. . . up to 8 lbs, 10 oz. . . and 21 inches. . . Growing fast to catch up to those brothers of his. . .eager to run and have fun with them. . .

So very sweet and snuggly. . .We're all treasuring our moments together.

I remember the night we put up our Christmas tree, I wished he could be with us to see his little peapod ornament. . .and tonight he lays under the branches, batting at ornaments the boys colored in the days before he arrived. . .

Last year at this time was so very hard. . . remember Jean, and missing her so very much. . .losing our puppy Dude. . . finding out we were (surprise!) pregnant, only to miscarry weeks later. . . And here we are, a year later. . . dizzy and stumbling around with lack of sleep. . . cramming three little boys in the back of our car. . . trying to keep up with mounds of laundry. . . and figure out the new "normal". . . and absolutely so happy and content with our new family.

A happiness I never dreamed of last winter. . . Blessed beyond measure. . . And so very thankful. . .