Tuesday, March 15, 2011

the missing handbook. . .

They never tell you about real parenthood when you are expecting that magical first baby. The real stuff.

Poops that smells worse than a truck stop.

Boys who won't sleep through the night for three years.

You know, the essentials.

I would love to add a chapter to that missing handbook. Stuff that you would never dream would come out of your mouth. Words that have never before been strung together to make a meaningful sentence.

Stuff like:

Get your finger out of the pit bull's eye.

Followed by, Don't hit the dog in the head with a hockey stick.

And, this morning's favorite: Your eyes will stop leaking if you stop crying. [Can you hear the wailing where you are?]

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